Frequently Asked Questions

How do I submit my letter?

Submit your story here in letter form… Think Dear Abby, Dear Sugar, or Strawberry Letter.

What kinds of questions should I ask???

Relationships woes. Dating challenges. Sexuality. Life in general. Anything you want!

Seriously… everything is fair game and there is no judgment here. Whatever is tugging at your mind, your heart, or your genitals (yep, you are welcome to go there, in fact, I invite you to). Ask away.

Will you respond to every letter?

I will do my best to respond to every letter. However, if a similar question or situation has been answered in a previous column, then your question will not be answered. Please check the archives before submitting.

When and how will you respond?

Once I receive your letter I will respond to you publicly on Medium. You will be notified (via email) when your letter/response goes live. The turnaround time will depend on the volume. *Response and posting turnaround is subject to change.

How many topics can I cover in my letter?

One subject/topic per letter. I ask that you try to keep your story to 500 words or less.

Will I remain anonymous?

Your identity will not be revealed. Your question will be posted publicly, but you will remain anonymous. Pinky swear.

What if I don’t like what you have to say?

That’s a very real possibility. While my intention is to offer judgment-free, open-minded, well-rounded advice, it may not always be what you want to hear. My thoughts and ideas are through the lens of my own experience, which may not jive with what is currently true for you. So I will tell you what I tell my clients… “take only what feels resonant.” Apply the parts that feel like salve to your soul and leave the rest. Because the only person that will ever really know what’s best for you is you. Anything offered by me, or anyone else, serves only to spotlight what’s true for you. Period.

Where can I submit my story?

You can submit your question letter here. There will also be a submission link in every post.

Where’s the fine print? Here are the terms and conditions:

In submitting your letter, you are giving me the right to publish it on medium.com and use it in any other form of media, including but not limited to books, articles, audios, and videos everlastingly.

I reserve the right to edit your letter for the purpose of grammar and/or measure, without altering its integrity. I encourage you to change the names of the people and details of your story before submitting, which will help to maintain your anonymity. If possible, keep your letter to under 500 words.

Your personal information (including your real name and email address) will NEVER be shared with ANYONE. The only exception to this policy is… if your letter contains any threats of violence or harassment, in which case authorities may be contacted.

Letters are answered at random and/or in the order received. Depending on the volume and demand. If or when your letter is answered, you will receive an email providing the link to your response. Ask Stacey is a commercial advice column, not a crisis intervention.

If you are in a harmful situation or if you are having thoughts about self-harm, please contact a trained professional immediately. Here is a list of phone numbers that might be helpful.